Invisible Tribe
Posted by Mary Edwards Wertsch at 10/30/2007 8:34 PM and is filed under Military as Roots,Life Patterns 
Last week a long-held dream of mine came true.
Finally, 16 years after my book was first published, I had the opportunity to address a gathering of clinical social workers who assist military families. Turned out the opportunity was due—of course—to the efforts of a military brat: Kitty DeLapp of Virginia Beach, who is herself a clinical social worker. I didn’t even know the idea had come from her until I got to the conference. Thank you, Kitty, from the bottom of my heart. And thank you also to the organizing committee of the Eastern Virginia chapter of the Virginia Society for Clinical Social Work, for being receptive to her suggestion.
It was on Friday, October 26 (which, fittingly enough, also happened to be Pat Conroy’s birthday), that I gave the all-day workshop to about 50 or 60 people. Now only the participants themselves—only two of whom happened to be brats—can say if what I had to impart was something of value that they can use in their practices. But I can tell you that from my side of things, it felt like a need requited to take the messagedirectly to the very people who are in the best position to help parents and children now navigating the challenges of life inside the Fortress, as well as adult military brats in need of clarity about their own lived experience.
The message, of course, is that it makes a huge difference when the care provider has an in-depth understanding of the military-as-culture. I don’t mean the military as a corporate culture, which is how the Department of Defense sees it. I mean culture in the anthropological sense—a culture with its own characteristic beliefs, values, and behaviors. I mean a culture that molds its children in its own image. I mean a culture whose shaping power is so great that we, its children, feel its effects our whole lives through.
I find that there are a lot of people out there in the civilian world who assume they already know everything about the military community. I’ve also found the exact same thing among military brats and military parents. And who can blame any of them, civilian or military? How were they—and we—supposed to see the military in any other way than it had always been perceived? But, based on my research, there is absolutely no question in my mind that the military is as much a culture in the anthropological sense as any other.
It’s easy to see how the truth of the military as a root culture could be overlooked. As cultures go, it is truly bizarre: No geographic center. No defining ethnicity or religion. No language of its own. (Unless it’s…Acronymish?) And to top it off, it is a culture that by and large is carried by the children but not by their parents, the vast majority of whom did not grow up in the military themselves. Those parents are very influenced by the military, but their formation occurred elsewhere—and they regard their stay in the military as an important but temporary phase of their lives. For brats, it is different. You can take the brat out of the Fortress, but you can never, ever take the Fortress out of the brat.
(Entry continued below image from my family's 1946 Christmas card; my brother David, age 6, is at top gun turret.)
Because of the extreme mobility of military life, and because none of the adults know to cultivate an understanding of how the children are shaped by the Fortress, children grow up blind to their cultural roots. This is a tragedy. The fact of the matter is that the only way we can change what needs to be changed in ourselves is by bringing it to the conscious level, and the only way we can value what should be valued is by bringing it to the conscious level.
When I set out to research and write Military Brats, back in 1985, I wasn’t even sure there was a book there to be written. I’d seen the movie “The Great Santini”, then read the novel, and what I had was a question: Was it just coincidence that the Marine family depicted was so much like my own (Army infantry) one? Or, contrary to what I’d always believed, did all of us military brats have roots of a kind? Did we come from a “Somewhere” that had been invisible to us? It only took a few interviews for me to see there was a vast expanse of iceberg stretching down beneath the waters.
The next five years of research and writing were tremendously therapeutic. My ghosts were laid to rest. The depth of understanding I gained from those shared stories empowered me in my personal life, and years later, I continue to learn. Ideally, I think the understanding we brats stand to gain from examining our Fortress roots gives us, finally, solid ground to stand on—and, after the clouds have cleared, a way to see the humor in it all.
That’s the benefit for us brats, the progeny and inheritors of the Fortress, from sharing stories, learning about our legacies, and reflecting on it all. But the benefit for therapists is different. I believe that for therapists, a rich understanding of the military-as-culture is the tool they’ve been missing. It helps them know what to look for, how to better read their clients, how to question their own assumptions about military culture, how to better advise military parents, and how to empower military kids with self-understanding. It all comes from studying the part of the military brat story they didn’t know before—what happens to us after we grow up, and how it all connects to our childhood inside the Fortress.
Thanks, Virginia Society for Clinical Social Work, for letting me have my say.
I just saw the 2005 documentary "Brats / Our Journey Home." It was the first time I really realized how much my Army Brat upbringing mirrored so many other Brat lives. When ever someone asks me where I am from, my standard answer is "I'm an Army Brat. I'm not from anywhere."
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Mary--sometimes I have to read your blog in several sittings. You see it touches my very core and that you get it just amazes me. You saw what we knew was there but couldn't define. You take it and look at it and are able to really see it. It, of course, is our life as a military brat.
I have thought before that my husband and I are alone in this. Our parents were raised in one place and our children in one place.
Although my daughter says she is a BRAT by proxie or 2nd generation. She has some of the same feelings we do, which I find interesting. Perhaps because we do not have extended family close by.
I read this blog today. I will read it again tomorrow. As I know I will see particulars of it that touch me.
I truly appreciate your insight into this.
Candyce
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Congratulations, Mary! It's good to know that your work and insight over all these years may also serve to benefit the youngest generation now bearing the burden of our country's ongoing wars.
Mary Ann
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To Ms. Edwards-Wertsch,
I recently purchased 3 copies of your book, Military Brats, upon the recommendation of a friend. Two are for my sisters. I have just read through the preface and the forward and am now not sure I want to read the rest. I know I will, however, because I have to. Those initial pages brought an unexpected rush of feelings, which at 59 years old, I did not expect. I am the son of a career Air Force pilot, lived all over the world as a brat, was always a stranger, but thought of as a happy person (I was a great faker) and made friends easily, but left them without a look back over and over. So, at this point, I am one the one hand dreading reading your book, and on the other, already addicted to it, in just a few pages. If you are not opposed, I would like to write after I have finished it. Or maybe I won't. In advance, thank you for even realizing that the Fortress existed and that thousands of us lived through childhoods and its after effects that are totally foreign to most people.
Rob Hullar
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Rob, I know what you mean. Reading the book is a very emotional experience. Believe me, writing it was, too. But it was so very cathartic. I can tell you that as I wrote, I felt it all very keenly, and sometimes suffered--but it was a good kind of suffering. It felt like suffering that needed to happen, and that was leading to something positive. And it was: this time I understood the pain, and understanding it liberated me to a very large degree. May that be what happens to you as well. And by all means, do write to me as you digest the book. I would welcome hearing from you.
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Rob--
I read your comment on Mary's book. I found a copy two years ago now. Let me say that I am a voracious reader, but Mary's book was so powerful that I could only read pages, sometimes only paragraphs, before I had to take a break.
I like to say that this book "turned all my lightbulbs on at once". It started me on a journey to wholeness.
So even though it is "tough" to read, I encourage you to read it.
I too am a BRAT, your age, daughter of a career Air Force officer.
Best Wishes to you,
Sherry
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Hi, Mary--
A resounding "YES!" to your comments.
Reading your essay puts me in mind of the term "Spiritual Warrior". Now, anybody can be a SPIRITUAL warrior, be they civilian or military.
The Fortress itself gave us training that will provide strength for the journey--if we allow ourselves to embrace our past.
Thanks Mary!
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I read your book when it first came out, Mary. As a Cold War brat (Navy) aged 59, it spoke to virtually every aspect of my life growing up. Indeed, it remains who I am. It is why I tear up watching JAG re-runs on TV. Why I have devoured the novels of Senator Jim Webb and Anton Myrer over the years, among hundreds of other books about the military, and why military history and fiction remain my genres of choice. Why churches mean nothing to me, but I get chills whenever I have stepped on to the grounds of a military base, a service academy, a battle ground, and especially Arlington National Cemetery, where my retired Navy Captain uncle is buried about 200 yards from where the plane hit the Pentagon on 9/11.
And, yes, abuse and alcohol were big parts of my life growing up. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I swore to do the reverse of what my parents did. So my daughters have had very indulgent lives, but have turned out very well despite that.
I remain a stalwart supporter of our military and their families. Indeed, because of my upbringing, and knowing the stresses and strains, I am livid at stories of poor health care, lost jobs, inadequate benefits or supports for the families of our troops currently at war. And my wife and I have donated for years to the extent we can to organizations like the VFW, USO, PVA, DAV, etc.
On balance, I have to say growing up a Navy brat gave me experiences and capabilities civilians generally just do not get. I got to meet world leaders and street urchins in far-flung places. All of that made me adaptable and flexible--perhaps too much, as I was always eager to please adults or authority figures.
Of course, being a Navy brat there was a lot of pressure to enter the service myself when I came of age. My Dad had his heart set on my going to Annapolis, but I had bad eyes. Not only did they keep me away from the Academy, they prevented me from passing my draft physical during the Vietnam war, and I have forever felt second-class and guilty because of that. Such is the power of our brat culture.
My father had his only real home in the Navy. When he was forced to retire after 30 years of service in the mid-Sixties, it broke his heart. He had a massive coronary and died at the beginning of my sophomore year of college, in November, 1968. We had just begun to talk, after years of a personal Cold War between us. We never resolved our issues. Perhaps that is another reason why in my heart, my core being is that of being part of the military. Its values are my values, and always will be.
Thank you for your book, and this website. And my apologies for the length of this reply. As I am now retired and disabled myself, I have nothing but time to reflect on my life and what impacted it. And to wax on, at too great a length, about all of that.
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Roy, thanks for this comment. There are literally millions of brats who can identify with everything you've said. That's the beauty of sharing our stories like this--we can see for ourselves that we are not alone in our experiences, we're not peculiar, we're not misifts (although it may seem so at times!). We are sons and daughters of the Fortress, we are reflections of the culture which shaped and guided us, and we are the cultural kin of every other military brat who's ever lived.
Please keep checking in and contributing your thoughts!
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Mary--
Thanks for the fast response. You want brat stories, I have them. Innumerable. And would be pleased to share. But not at the cost of burdening others. Maybe an anecdote sub-blog would help. Just saw "Annapolis" for the zillionth time, and the floodgates opened again. I would bet we brats have stories so pointed, so vivid, that civvies could only weep to have them.
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Hi Mary and friends,
I'm so delighted to find your website! I loved reading your book many years ago, and often burst into tears as I read it, not from sadness, but from being known and understood. I felt the same way when seeing the milbrat movie (something about coming home.)
I am writing my memoirs (230 pages drafted so far) of my gradual transformation from conventionally religious and patriotic milbrat-daughter of a war hero to ummm....spiritual mystic and one-world non-violent political activist? (or something).... Yes, I will always be drawn to and and will always love and respect soldiers and their values and idealism, and yes, what better gift to soldiers than to support, say, a cabinet-level Department of Peace, to insure that they never again march into an ill-planned, ill-advised, unnecessary, tragic war.... I agree with all that you say about military-brat shared culture (in an anthropological sense)--my blog, www.epharmony.com">www.epharmony.com focuses mostly on the intersection of my driving interests--peace, politics, spirituality, and culture. I'm having a great time these days writing my "military memoirs" and would welcome your advice! You could search on the topic of my father or the military to see some of my thoughts over the last three years...although my concious focus on milbrat memories is in progress. I love your work--what will you publish next? I am so surprised that more is not written about/by military brats--maybe my book will be next.... I must get back to work on it.... Thank you for bringing all our wonderful spirits together in mutual recognition and self-acceptance and understanding.... By the way, I would love to hear your thoughts on the idea that we all lived in a culture where courage, idealism, unquestioning commitment and physical action--AND violence--were what were believed to best solve problems.... So how did this affect our future choices/lives? With much appreciation, and in haste--can't wait to read your back blogs--I've only read this most recent one... Check out www.epharmony.com">www.epharmony.com All the best, Nancy Pace
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Nancy, thanks for your kind comments. I'm very glad to hear you are working on your memoir--sounds like you've come quite a long way on it. It's especially interesting that you have chosen to work it around a theme of personal transformation to a point of view that is not one the Fortress would embrace. This is a theme that is too often avoided in brat memoirs, in my opinion. After all, the nationalist warrior ethic is at the heart of the Fortress and of all of our childhoods within it. It follows that, in forming our own worldview and set of personal ideals and values, we must figure out how we relate to that warrior ethic--and that is something that may well change over time. Outsiders to our culture of origin tend to assume that we are all cut from the same cloth as our warrior parent, and that we never question anything about the military ethos or specific military missions. My feeling about this is that we brats are more fully developed human beings if we have wrestled with this question. No matter what position we adopt, it is more valid and defensible if there is thoughtfulness and soul-searching behind it. More of us need to tell our stories about this, so that we can help reinforce--in our own grown-up brat culture--the benefit of soul-searching and a tolerance for the variety of philosophies we come to adopt.
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Hi Mary - Thx for your thoughtful and helpful comments. I wonder if you do counseling in the DC area? I'm in Frederick, MD. I would love to find a therapist with a background either in military brat life or A Course in Miracles--can you recommend one? I ask since you recently were in VA for the above-mentioned conference--I don't know where you're based or if you take new clients. (301-788-6642, Nancy Pace) Your blog is certainly stimulating much creative thought re: my "military memoirs." Now, on to my reading of your back blogs.... THX
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Nancy, I am merely a writer and not a therapist.... I have no training in counselling, just a long-standing interest in identifying and thinking through psychological challenges. I am sure you can find a good counselor in or near Frederick, though--and I'm sorry I can't point you in the right direction. When you do find one, I recommend lending your copy of the book to him or her; many brats have told me that it helps. This would be true even if the counselor grew up as a brat, because it doesn't necessarily follow that the brat counselor has a deep understanding of how our culture of origin conditions and shapes us.
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Thanks, Mary. I'm not sure where I got the idea that you were in counseling--whatever.... My older daughter has encouraged me to try it, to help me relate better to my sisters (and her.) They are my toughest challenges. I really enjoyed some earlier experiences with counseling and group therapy, so I thought I would take advantage of my good federal insurance.... I have a long list of local providers--just thought how nice it would be if you were, or knew of someone with such backgrounds. I will certainly take your book to him/her when the time comes. I need to reread it too, as my memoir is definitely following on many of the themes and structures you identified in your book.... I'm poring over your blog and enjoying every moment.... Commenting on all your blogs too....etc. Merry Christmas, dear Mary and thanks for all you do. I'm hoping our work impacts all the little milbrats out there who are missing their folks and worrying.... Is there a milbrat website where kids write to each other? XO Nancy
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As to the culture of military life. I am writing a book on the history of Ft. Slocum, and it includes a section called "Post and Village: An Anthropological Oddity." I think what was true of our post is true generally: a post is a collection of transients, but it is also a village in the sense that it is small and intimate, yet also possessed of a strong hierarchy. But it is odd in that villages typically don't contain transients! Also whereas in say a small English village the squirearchy & the commoners came together in the same pub, posts have separate NCO & O clubs. Also in a true village, village elders are at the top of the chain of command, so to speak; whereas in a military village, the village elders tend to be the civilian employees, outside the chain of command entirely. No one outside the civilians has been there for more than the past 3 years.
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Great subject for a book, Michael. A post or base is really a very odd place. Strikingly diverse in some ways, but overwhelmingly male, and with no old people. An American community, but one in which the Bill of Rights does not really apply, although no one in authority would ever say so out loud, let alone put it in writing. And it is transient in an extreme sense--everyone who arrives there knows they will not be staying, and when they eventually move on, it will not be as a group, like a nomadic tribe. On top of that, there is no community "memory" on a military base--no place one can visit that lists the names of the service members and families that have lived there in the past. It almost qualifies as a mirage!
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Hi Mary,
Thanks for the quick response. Funny you should mention the Bill of Rights; within the past week I was contacted by a producer at HBO doing a documentary including an incident at Ft Slocum in 1955. Apparently, wunderkind Martin Garbus (later a famous civil libertarian & lawyer), after graduating from Bronx Science, Hunter AND NYU Law that same year (at the age of 21) entered the Army & was assigned to teach at the Army Information School, then at Slocum. Apparently he questioned US policy at the time toward Red China, and was court-martialed for it; but beat the charges when a superior testified on his behalf that, after all, what was the Army put on earth to defend if not civil liberties?
However (typically, and in line with your point) not a whiff of it (neither prosecution nor vindication) in the post newspaper. (Nor, for that matter, in the NYT; apparently, with this documentary, the story is only now coming to light.)
Incidentally, a fellow Slocum brat & I went to see the Bratsfilm in DC last June & we asked this question of the audience there (nobody knew of any) but: would YOU know of anyone else studying an individual post or base over time?
Part of my study involves brats of the past. I have tried to follow various families through the censuses, examining the extent to which soldiers (actually, mainly officers; harder to identify & track NCO’s) were themselves brats, and also the extent to which their brats in turn went into the family business. Do you know of anyone else studying brats in the late 19th & early 20 cc.?
A mirage, yes; not quite as extreme as the mythical city that exists in the sky (the population of those in flight on any given day) but still a bit like quicksilver.
Except, I will repeat, I think the civilian workers are underestimated. They are the old people, the village elders, the ones who know where the bodies are buried (or at least the electric & sewer lines; very important to have good engineers!), the ones who have seen CO’s come & go.
Surely I am but the latest in a long grey line, but let me also add my thanks for the pioneering work you have done on our way of life. BTW I have added a blurb to that effect on our Slocum website, www.home.earthlink.net/~michaelacavanaugh .
Best,
Michael
PS: there was a time when they would put it in writing, so to speak. My father enlisted in 1940, retired in 1970, and voted for the first time in 1972. In his day there was an informal but nonetheless very strong prohibition against soldiers voting, on the theory that if they voted against a sitting Commander-in-Chief they were actively disloyal; and so, if they could not vote freely, what was the point of voting?
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Hi Michael--
I'm not sure who might be working on studies of brats similar to yours.... Occasionally I hear from someone who is writing a thesis about military families or specifically wives or children, but none of them to date have concerned tracking them in the same way. I wrote to DoD years ago suggesting that the surveys they do of all uniformed personnel include asking whether the person is the child of career military personnel. I am pretty sure they've never done it. Not even the military academies do it; they ask if a parent served in the military, but that of course does not distinguish between those who served briefly and those who made it a career. Regarding studies of bases over time--I don't know if any, but I wouldn't be surprised if there were some, particularly of the older bases such as Fort Monroe, Virginia; Ft. Huachuca in Arizona; the Presidio in San Francisco. Have you done some Internet searches using the specific names of posts or bases? If you find anything, please let me know--and please post it here, too, for others who may be interested. I am so glad you are pursuing these studies, Michael. There is so much out there to study concerning our culture of origin--and there are so few people who are doing it!
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Hi Mary,
The book "Military Brats" opened a dialogue between me and my parents, and helped to create a healing with my father. He was a pilot, and a Lt Colonel, and for lack of a better word - a tough, macho man. He did love us, but growing up he was impossible for me to talk to him. I gave him my copy of your book (I have since purchased four more copies) and I told him to read it cover to cover. I said he did not have to agree with it, but that it mirrored much of my experience. If he wanted to understand me better, he needed to read it. He did. So did my mother. Like I said - it created a dialogue and a space. I was able to get enough breathing room in order to grow up, and they were able to understand me better. Thanks again for writring it.
Kathryn
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Kathryn, thanks for this comment. I think your parents were very brave to read the book, because I know it must be very tough reading for any military parent. So much happens that is out of their control; and they themselves have to adapt to the life in ways that inevitably affect their parenting. What we need from them is understanding; what they need from us is compassion. Deep, ever-renewing compassion. It can be a tall order on both sides. May I ask how how you were when you read the book, and how old you were when you gave it to them to read?
Your comment has come at a good time. I've run out of books and have been considering letting it go out of print permanently, just because I don't especially enjoy running a publishing company. I'm still debating this.
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One last Comment Mary, if you really don't want to contend with self publishing - have you thought about putting it on Google books in full or in the Gutenburg Project? They both hold books online - and at least Brats will be able to run into the information when they need it.
http://books.google.com/bkshp?hl=en&tab=wp
all the best to you
Kathryn
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Hi Mary,
I hope you keep some in print - or someone does for you. I was 39 when I read the book and just had had another horrendous break up with a man. I decided I had to figure out why things always ended this way, and I realized a lot of it was my relationship with my father. I actually wrote about the experience of finding your book on Vann Baker's website back in year 1999.
http://www.militarybrats.com/brat-life-katherine-kirk.shtml
I gave my father the book the same year. We had a long talk. I actually made him cry at one point. Mother told me to never do that again. However, instead of running from him all the time, I was actually able to have a real relationship with him.
Your book helped a lot.
Kathryn
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Kathryn, I just read your essay about reading the book and your relationship with your father, on the link you provided. It's beautifully written and very moving. I am grateful that the book helped you redefine your relationship with your father into a more gratifying one for both of you. Thank you so much for telling me about it. I am researching ways to keep my book alive in downloadable electronic form.... For those of us who love the physicality of books (and like to scribble in them) this will not be a very satisfying format--but it is at least a way of keeping the book out there for people to find.
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Mary, do not let it go out of print! This may be VERY selfish of me. But I felt like I finally understood myself when I read it. It explained so much.
I think of my parents is this way: They had no idea of the long range effect. And there were positive effects as well as negative ones. Who cannot say that of their childhood?
I know they wanted the best for us. And I do admire them for doing something they really and truly believed in. They too left a comfortable place in the civilian world to do what they believed in.
Would I do this for my own children....no. Yet in a different way I have.
Do I feel like I do not belong? Oh yes. The way you describe it is so true.
There are others coming to this point in their lives and I would like to think your book would be there for them.
I hope this makes sense and is not too muddled.
Candyce
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Thanks, Candyce. I am hoping that I can find some good solution that will relieve me of the business duties but will keep the book in print. In the meantime, I've run out of books and don't want to undertake the expense of another print run when it would just perpetuate my discomfort with the publisher role. There are still a few copies left at Amazon.com and through the Military Brat Registry, but they won't last long. I will make a dowloadable form available through Amazon.com while trying to puzzle out a next step....
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"Publishing" means different things these days. How about for instance digital versions of the book? CD-ROM would also be time-consuming, but if you put digital text on a website, then anyone interested could download it. Much less labor-intensive for author & publisher, still keeps the book available to the public.
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Thanks, Michael. I am indeed going to do this, via Amazon.com. Ideally I'd also like to find another small publisher to pick up the book and keep it in print; maybe I'll get lucky.
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Mary,
Thank you again for writing the book in the first place. It has meant the world to me.
I went from feeling crazy all the time and not understood and like there was something wrong, to at least feeling at home with this hidden tribe and to realizing there really was not anything wrong. I was simply part of a hidden sub-culture. I have always felt very at home with other brats. They understand. I ended up in global business, and I attribute a lot of that to my up-bringing. I also seem to be refusing to settle down. Again, you laid it out all so clearly in the book. "The Book", as I like to call it, changed things for the better for me. I know sometimes it must feel like we don't accomplish what we set out to do with our lives. I would say to you, you made a huge difference in mine, and in the four other people who were brats who I made sure read the book as well. It is a ripple effect. The Book was a big deal. Being honest and naming it was an important first step.
I think you also say it in your book, not getting trapped in our woundedness, but to acknowledge who we are. I took that book and I was able to move forward in ways I thought not possible for me at the time. I was very fortunate in that frequently I end up working for former military men (there is that father issue again) - but they always end up being very positive relationships, these work relationships. I think by understanding and accepting all this in me, it really helped me. I think coming to these conclusions on my own would have taken a lot more time and would have been a lot more difficult. Your book opened doors for me.
I think Amazon is a wonderful home for it. There is reach there, people will run into it and find it when they need it.
All the best to you always,
Kathryn
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I'm so glad I found your website recently! I read your book many years ago and enjoyed it so much -- it explained so much about myself!
My father was career Air Force. He retired when I was about 11 years old. I recently compiled this little list of "Childhood Oddities" (I'm sure I could add more!) that I thought you might like. I will have to post it in 2 parts:
At the time this was going on, I never realized that it was a little "odd" and that children in America were not experiencing the same things. Actually, I don't think I ever even thought of "children in America" as a child... ummmmm
American Culture: Since I lived overseas for most of my childhood, I missed out on "American Culture". I was living in a different culture entirely, the military culture. At the same time, I had the opportunity to learn about many different other cultures and religions.
Television: For the most part, I grew up without television. We lived in countries that did not have television stations yet. Our console TV was usually a foyer table or other "table" of some sort.
Pets: I never had pets growing up because we were always moving, and sometimes to countries that were not, ummmmmm, "pet friendly." I did have a tiny turtle in Germany -- my parents later told me they knew the turtle wouldn't live out our stay there. When we moved to San Antonio, I got a hamster. My father was planning to retire, so I could keep the hamster! My mother got a dog there, a Pekingese, who moved with us to Atlanta and lived a long life -- for several years after my mother was killed.
Real Christmas Trees: Never had one! We had an artificial tree because, again, we sometimes lived in countries that did not celebrate Christmas, so real Christmas trees were not available.
Milk: I grew up on Carnation powdered milk. "Real milk" was not sold in the commissaries because it would be bad by the time it was imported. If milk was available in the country we lived in, it was not pasteurized.
Tap water: It may be all the rage now to buy bottled water, but not back then. We couldn't drink the water in many places where we lived, and I remember my father bringing home these HUGE things of water. This is what my mother made the milk from!
Bread: We did have bread, actually, but it was more like day-old or stale bread. By the time it got to us, that was the state it was in. I remember a story my parents would tell: When we returned from the Philippines and were in California (temporarily), they bought some regular plain white bread and ended up eating the entire loaf PLAIN by themselves.
The Civil Rights Movement: Yeah, this is a big thing, and I was around when it was going on (but living in other countries), but I missed the whole thing. It simply did NOT exist in military life. There was no racism or segregation.
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